What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops