Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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bite me

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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