what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops