What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops