Matthew Wyckoff

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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