Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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