A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Ross.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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