What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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stinky boner

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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hello

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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