What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down -9

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops