"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops