A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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i'm hard

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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