Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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