What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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