whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops