Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Japan

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Weaner

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Men's rights

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops