Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops