My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops