What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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i dont fisish anythi

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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