Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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