To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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