What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

Knock Knock. Come in.

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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