A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops