A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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