What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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