whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dwarf Shortage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops