Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Knock knock Fuck off!

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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