What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Good job, son.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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One, two, three, four and five

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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