Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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