What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

women's rights.

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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