How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Yes

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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