Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Gay rights.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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