I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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