What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Jesus Christ

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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God is real.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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