Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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want more?

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops