Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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12 in general

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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