What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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