Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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