Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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i have aids and a chode

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

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live babies

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Religion

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gays

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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