What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Ben is gay

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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