Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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