my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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