Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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black people

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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