apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

Allah walked into AK Bar

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

A hill billy went fishing

A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

i'm hard

What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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