What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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