Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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