What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

A whole 'nother.

What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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