What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops