Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...