Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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