Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

civil rights

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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