a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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