What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock whos there .. derp

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down

gays

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hi my name is Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops