What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

your sister has 1 boob thats funny

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

Diarrhea

A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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