What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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a

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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jews

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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